


From Afar

by Nyctic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-31
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-17 10:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyctic/pseuds/Nyctic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An observation in the common room.  Watchful eyes are everywhere.  Unrequited love of beauty.  Almost…maybe?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Watching

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I left the characters and house open to options for the reader so I can maybe make everyone happy. You can really make it anyone you want or two completely new people. You could even loosely change the time period. So therefore, I do not own Harry Potter, but I may possibly own the characters of this story…

Watching

I heard the book snap closed and glanced at my watch. Like clockwork, as always. Five minutes to nine she picks up her bag and moves through the portrait hole headed for the astronomy tower, where she'll walk through the door at exactly the ninth chime of the clock and snap her book closed again.

And I'll sit here till exactly 11:35 trying not to fall asleep on my divinations homework just so I can watch her walk back through the portrait hole and up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

She's absolutely brilliant. In every little, insignificant aspect. I love to watch her move, whether she's writing an essay, or navigation the shelves of the library, or even dancing across the courtyard to her own melody on the way to herbology. I've seen her answer questions even Hermione Granger couldn't answer. She smiles when it rains, runs off to the forest with a book on sunny Sunday afternoons, and plays with her food at dinner when she hasn't gotten post that day. She burns a candle every full moon and says a prayer sealed with a pentacle.

She is the most unique creature I have ever laid eyes on. With eyes containing a deeper insight than our oldest professors and soft waving hair that could shine in even in the darkest room. And she twirls that hair around her fingers when she's sleepy. She bites her nails when she's bored and sometimes plays with a ball of modeling clay while she reads so she has something to do with her hands. Her favorite class is music, and she has the voice of an angel, and to watch her hands glide across the keys of a piano… Let’s avoid that train of thought. She likes to read classic books her mother sends her. Right now it's _Pride and Prejudice_. And she's just so simply different. I know she's pure blood, but it's as if she was raised without magic. She'll only use it in classes, and only when she absolutely has to. She'd even rather stoke the fire in the common room herself than let a house elf do it…

~*~*~

Ah, hell. So I fell asleep and didn't get to see her. It's not like I don't see her every. Bloody. Day. But still…

~*~*~

She's reading now. Almost finished with her book. Two slices of toast with raspberry jam are on the plate in front of her, approximately three bites out of one. She slowly sips her pumpkin juice before she turns the page. She twirls her hair around her finger before reaching down to pick up her toast. She'll maybe get in three more bites before heading down to potions. She's not really a breakfast person. She prefers the dark. I love to watch her eyes light up with her bright smile when she spies an evening star. I wish I could make her smile like that.

~*~*~

Snape took her book away. I **will** get it back for her. One way or another. That way I will talk to her. I can't even imagine her beautiful voice saying my name. Or to have her look at me with that knowing smile.

That smile. The one that makes you think she can read your thoughts. I love that smile, too. She gets it when she reads something she already knows. Or when she knows Professor Flitwick will have her demonstrate a new charm. Or even when she gets a dirty look from a girl who's boyfriend watched her walk by. She has it now. She's pulled another book from her bag. _Dracula_ this time. I can't help but smile at her, but she doesn't see…

~*~*~

My friends say I'm pathetic. I'm sure I'll get detention if I get caught.

Almost… Almost… Please don't let anyone walk around the corner. Got it!

~*~*~

One more flight of stairs and I've made it.

"What are you doing out at this hour?"

I froze. Five meters from the portrait hole and caught by a prefect. Her.

"I asked you a question."

I glanced at my watch. 11:36. Like clockwork. I turned around to face her.

"Well?"

My mouth moved to form words, but no sound came, so I lifted my arm and held the book out to her. She raised an elegant brow and took it. And as she looked down at it, there was that smile. She looked up at me with sparkling eyes.

"Thank you."

She hugged me. She _actually_ hugged **me**. I stood frozen as she let go and ran to the portrait hole grinning. That other smile. I sighed and stared after her.

"I love you…"


	2. Backward Glances

Backward Glances

I sighed as I slowly made my way down the stairs, the patterns of the stars still swimming through my mind. Andromeda seemed unusually bright tonight. I shifted the shoulder my bag rested on as I took off my robe. I draped it over my arm and loosened my tie as I neared the portrait.

I glanced up and there he stood, just below the top of the staircase, looking rather anxious. I'm not used to seeing him like that. He's usually so pensive, always writing. Or those times he's fallen asleep at a table in the common room. What's he waiting for? Once, when he was still awake, I lingered in the stairwell and watched him. He gathered his things quickly and rushed up to the boy's dormitory as soon as I was out of sight. Had he lost track of the hour?

Maybe that's why he's out now. He must've gotten distracted in the library. He does have a book in his hand. He wouldn't have it if he were…with…a girl. It's not like he couldn't have any girl in the school. No. He's not like that. Not like all the guys who exploit all the girls. At least I've never seen him with a girl. And I have caught my fair share of couples snogging in the broom cupboards.

I shook myself from my train of thought as he got closer.

"What are you doing out at this hour?"

He froze, staring down at the floor.

"I asked you a question."

He glanced at his watch and turned to face me.

"Well?"

His mouth moved wordlessly before holding the book out to me. I took it incredulously, reading the title on the front. I couldn't help the smile that broke out as I realized it was my book, and looked up at him.

"Thank you."

Without thinking I flung my arms around his neck. A split second later I realized what I was doing and released him. I turned and ran to the portrait hole, grinning like a Cheshire cat and embarrassed to no end.

I rushed up the steps enough to be out of sight and sat down on the cool stone. I listened to him rush in and up the other set of stairs to the boys dormitory. I sighed wistfully as I held my book to my chest and ran up to bed.

~*~*~

I've been watched all day. And every time I glance back, no one's there. Well… People are there, but they're always occupied with their own things. He's there, too. Always reading or writing or talking to his friends. He's always running his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face only for it to fall back down. It's almost as if he's anxious…insecure about something.

There they are again. The eyes on me. Maybe if I just look up slowly…

He's looking at me. And the light behind his eyes. I don't even want to think it. It can't be right. There's no way it's possible. Then why am I smiling like I'm mental? But, oh heavens, he's smiling back.

~*~*~

Is it wrong that I'm completely terrified? That look was just… I can't stop thinking about it. I can only imagine what kind of git he thinks I am. He'll probably never speak to me now.

But why didn't he speak to me before? I mean he stole my book from Professor Snape's office to return it to me, and yet he couldn't speak to me. And then I had to go and act like a bloody lunatic. And I hugged him! Him! Of all people! I would _never_ do that.

Not that I wouldn't give anything to have him hold me back. And to see that smile from yesterday again. I swear my heart skipped a beat. But beyond that, there's no way he could want me.

~*~*~

There he sits. Again. He's reading the text for transfiguration. And I keep feeling eyes flick to me and then away when I glance up.

Until I leave. The eyes watch my back and even when I'm far from the common room I still feel them. I keep looking back. And he still hasn't left my thoughts.

~*~*~

It's a very lonely walk back from the astronomy tower. It doesn't usually feel like this. And it's not like I'm really alone…

I walked through the portrait hole and my eyes immediately fell on the table. And it was empty.

The heartbreak that crashed over me was so consuming that I gasped and had to grip the back of a chair to keep my wobbling knees from giving out.

"Are you okay?"

I blinked a few times to clear my stinging eyes and turned around. There he was, lounged on the couch with a book, in the exact place I'd vacated earlier. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"Yeah. I'm wonderful."

"Okay."

He looked at his watch and sighed. He got up and headed for the stairs.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I sighed, not wanting him to go, though I had no idea what I'd say to keep him here.

"Chamomile tea," I muttered in a terrible attempt, but he stopped.

"What?" he asked over his shoulder. I smiled.

"Chamomile tea. You're always up so late. It'd help you get to sleep earlier."

He nodded, smiling sweetly. "I'll think about it. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I watched him until he was gone, mourning my partial failure.

"I love you…"


	3. Closer Inspection

Closer Inspection

I shifted on the couch and looked at my watch. 11:35. I looked up as she walked in. Her gaze immediately fell to the empty table across from me. She gasped and stumbled slightly, gripping the back of the chair for support. My immediate thought was to go to her, but I stopped myself, making my current position seem more casual.

"Are you okay?"

She hesitated before turning to look at me. The look of distress on her face made my chest ache until it melted into that beautiful smile.

"Yeah. I'm wonderful."

"Okay." I smiled in relief.

I looked down at my watch and sighed. 11:37. Two minutes. A whole two minutes of interaction. Brilliant you eloquent arse. I got up and started to the stairs.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I hesitated, hearing her sigh, but didn't turn. Then I heard her mumble something that sounded like "camera peel tree" and stopped, looking back at her over my shoulder.

"What?"

She smiled at me.

"Chamomile tea," she said more clearly. "You're always up so late. It'd help you get to sleep earlier."

I nodded and smiled at her complete obliviousness. ''I'll think about it. Thanks."

I practically sprinted up the stairs to keep myself from doing something I'd later regret. If only she knew that I waited up every night for her...

~*~*~

Every move she makes is just so elegant. Like grace incarnate. Even just stirring that bloody cauldron looks like she's dancing. And she doesn't even know she's doing it. It's just how she is.

And I've been kicking myself for days. Why did I just leave? Why couldn't I say something to keep her there longer? She's not even acknowledging my existence now. It's like the whole thing never happened for her. As if I wasn't staring at her blatantly enough.

I bet she has a boyfriend now. That's it, isn't it? That's why she's been ignoring me. And yet...I never see her with anyone but her friends...

~*~*~

The route between the library and the Great Hall takes me past the music class room. Usually the door is closed and the hall lightly scattered with other students headed down to dinner. Tonight the hall is empty and the door is cracked allowing light and beautiful music to pour out.

I stopped and pushed the door open just a bit more.

She sat at the piano, completely lost in the music, leaning and rocking with the notes. It started out slow and soft, her hands gently caressing the ivory. Then the music evolved, picking up speed and volume, changing into something lighter and more fun.

Then her fingers stumbled and she stopped, growling quietly to herself in frustration. She picked up a quill and started scribbling on the parchment on the stand in front of her. Revising and adding. She composed the piece...

~*~*~

She sighed and took a drink, then stood to leave the Great Hall. I waited till she exited the room to quickly wipe my mouth and follow her.

It was easy to catch up, and I easily fell into step beside her on the way back to the common room.

"So...uh...chamomile tea, huh?" I ventured.

She laughed softly, a light, beautiful sound. I silently vowed to myself that I would hear it again.

"Yeah, chamomile tea. Have you tried it yet?"

"Umm...no... I haven't really had the opportunity really to really try it yet."

Why didn't I think she'd ask me that? How bloody stupid am I? And how many times did I say 'really'?

"Oh. Well there's always tonight. I could brew some for you. I've actually had some trouble sleeping, myself, recently, and I have some in the dorm."

I smiled at my minute personal triumph. I'd actually managed to maintain a conversation for more than two minutes. And she'd even shared something relatively personal with me. And she's still waiting for me to answer. Damn!

"That'd be great... Really helpful..."

Brilliant! Just bloody brilliant! Great? Helpful? Am I her brother?

She laughed again, pulling me from my silent berating. I smiled at her and she smiled back. Beautiful.

I glanced up at the portrait and muttered the password. It swung open, and I motioned for her to go ahead. She nodded and stepped through, immediately rushing off up the stairs.

I fell onto the couch with a sigh. Now what'll I do? I have no idea what I'll say to her once she gives me the tea. She's so beyond anything I've ever imagined. Even more now. I need to know. What she thinks of me. And whether there's someone else. Merlin help me if there is...

I can't have lost my chance…


	4. Seeing

Seeing

"So…uh…chamomile tea, huh…"

I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped me at his clueless tone. I looked up at him.

"Yeah, chamomile tea. Have you tried it yet?"

"Umm…no… I haven't really had the opportunity really to really try it yet."

I nodded. "Oh. Well there's always tonight. I could brew some for you. I've actually had some trouble sleeping, myself, recently, and I have some in the dorm."

He smiled and my mind immediately jumped to having said too much. Why would he care that I can't sleep? He'd probably think I'm a loon if he knew it was because of him.

"That'd be great… Really helpful…"

Helpful? So that's it then. I'm probably just annoying him. He can't really want my company. But then why's he here? I shook my head to rid it of my nonsense logic and laughed at myself. That can't be it.

He smiled at me, and I couldn't help smiling back, completely lost in the way his eyes shone in the dim light of the corridor. He mumbled a total nonsense word and a portrait swung open behind me, startling me slightly. He motioned for me to go ahead. I nodded and stepped through, running straight up the stairs to gather my cauldron and the tea.  
I came back down and set my things on the table. I smiled to myself as I saw him sprawled on the couch. I knelt down in front of him and tapped lightly on his knee. He jumped, almost falling to the floor, and I couldn't help but laugh. He smiled and looked away, embarrassed.

"How about you take the cauldron and get some water for the tea?" I motioned to the table behind me.

"Umm…yeah…" he nodded and got up, taking the cauldron and leaving the common room.

I sighed and moved back to the table, glancing over what I needed to do. I pulled my jumper over my head and laid it on a chair, loosening my tie, and set to work on portioning out chamomile and mint.

"I know what you're doing."

I jumped at the suddenness of the voice behind me.

"And what exactly is that, Oh Wise One?"

"You need to think about this. You've no way of knowing his side."

I sighed and leveled my gaze on Christopher as he sat across the table from me.

"You have no idea what you're talking abo-…"

"Don't I? I know about his reputation."

"Exactly. His reputation. Not him. I do."

"I hope you're right…"

I nodded as Chris got up and headed up the stairs, and he came back.

"So what do I do with this?"

"There's a hook on the hearth. Hang it there so the fire can heat it."

He did as I asked and came over to the table, taking the seat that'd been vacated not a minute before. I felt his eyes move over me as I gathered the herbs into sachets and placed them into two cups.

I pulled out the chair next to where I was standing and sat. I let my mind wander with my eyes as I watched him. I found myself mesmerized by the way the firelight highlighted his features. As the light changed, so did my attention.

The light danced across his hair, bringing out so many tones and making it look even softer than I've ever imagined. He ran his hand through it as his eyes flicked away from me and back. My eyes followed his hand down to the table. He tapped his fingers anxiously and I watched the tendons move in the back of his hand. I noticed a small scratch on the knuckle of his first finger. He has such long fingers. I want to touch him. Still his fingers and bring them to me and kiss that tiny scratch.

My eyes flowed up his arm, across his shoulders. He's strong. I can see it in the way his shirt lays against him. And always in the way he moves. If I could feel that strength… If he held me just once…

I felt his eyes flick away from me and then back. My heart picked up a bit as my gaze traveled up still. I watch briefly the movement of muscles in his neck as he swallows. Further up still I follow the line of his jaw. Strong and shadowed in the dim light. The sudden urge to run my nose along it hit me with startling strength.

I blinked a few times and drew my gaze higher. His lips, just as soft looking as any other time I'd caught myself staring, were pursed out in thought. In that moment I would give anything to know what he was seeing because I know he's watching me just as I am him.

My eyes raised to his and the moment they met I turned away. The movement was jerky and clumsy, and I felt my face flush. I gritted my teeth at my embarrassment and stared down at the table. The crisp breeze from the open window carried his scent to me at the same moment he laughed lightly. I closed my eyes briefly and inhaled deeply, before raising my eyes back to his face. His lips had curled up into such an alluring smirk. I gripped the edge of the table in an effort to not just lean over and…

"I think the water's plenty hot enough now."

I jumped, releasing the table as the glass stirring rod I'd been unconsciously clutching in my other hand clattered to the table. I blinked a few times and drew my singular focus out to see his expression. He looked concerned. I shook myself and smiled, part reassuring, part embarrassed.

I pushed away from the table and went over to retrieve the water. I set the cauldron on the table and began ladling the water into the cups. I took the lid off a jar of honey and poured some into my cup, stirring with the glass rod. I looked up at him, seeking his preference. He nodded and I tipped the jar over his cup. I looked up at him and completely lost myself in his expression as he watched my hands.

I jerked from my stupor as a warm hand closed over mine and pulled my hand from the cup.

"That's enough, thanks."

I looked away as my face flushed. "I'm sorry. If it's too sweet for you I can…"

"It's okay. I like things sweet."

My eyes snapped to his and my blush flared hotter at the double entendre of his sentence. I practically fell back into my chair. I picked up my tea and busied myself with taking a sip and stirring it needlessly.

Halfway through my cup, the water in the cauldron had cooled. I sighed and stood, taking it to the open window and pouring it down the side of the castle. I went back to the table and gathered my things into the empty cauldron and sat back down for the rest of my tea.

"I hope no one was leaning out the window."

I laughed. "Yeah. That would’ve been a surprise."

I finished the last of my tea and yawned, already feeling its effects. I smiled across at him, and he smiled back before succumbing to a yawn of his own.

I gathered the two empty cups and my jumper as he stood and stretched. We both started on our separate ways to bed, but I stopped.

"Hey…"

He stopped and turned to look at me. "Hmm?"

"Umm…I…uh… Tomorrow night I have to watch the meteor shower for astronomy and maybe…umm…you could watch it with me…if you want… You don't have to. It's just a suggestion, really, an-…"

"I think I'd like that."

"Really? Great! That's…yeah…that'd be nice."

I bit my lip in an attempt to crush my enthusiasm and turned and rushed up the stairs. My heart was racing, and I had to stop to catch my breath halfway up. When my pulse finally stopped pounding in my ears I could hear voices. I set my things carefully on the stair and quietly snuck back down.

"…what exactly you want from her."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't. I know your game."

"What game? I **like** her. Is that a crime?"

I trekked silently across to the other stairwell. Christopher had stopped him in the doorway, wand to nose.

"I know what you do to girls."

"Hey! Excuse me, but maybe you should get your facts straight. I haven't been with a girl in over a year because I've been waiting for **her**. I know you're her best mate and all, but you seriously need to sod off before I lose my chance."

Chris stood in just as much shock as I did, but recovered much quicker.

"Fine. But I swear if you hurt her, so help me, you'll be spitting slugs until your grandchildren finish school."

With that he turned and headed up the stairs. My pulse shot up as I sprinted across the common room and up the stairs.

He…really…wow…


	5. Eye Contact

Eye Contact

She stood in the common room at exactly 8:25, turning to glance at the clock every ten seconds. Tonight she's traded her robes for dark denims and a navy jumper. Her coat is draped over her arm and her bag hangs from her shoulder, now holding only a muggle notebook and pen, a blanket, and a thermos of warm cider. She rocks on her heels and turns back to the clock.

"You look like you're waiting for something."

She spun, a smile breaking out. "Now why would I ever have to wait?"

"You shouldn't," he laughed and looked her over. "Quite the change?"

"Warmth and comfort. Two very important things." She shrugged and he motioned to the door.

"Shall we?"

She nodded, and they left the common room. He turned toward the stairs to the astronomy tower and stopped when he realized she wasn't following.

"Coming?"

"Umm…no… Do you know how many people are gonna be up there?"

"Oh. I guess that's… So where are we going?"

She smiled. "Follow me." She took his hand and started leading him in the opposite direction. He stared at their joined hands and stumbled along behind her. Only when she stopped did he look up.

They stood before a portrait of the mountains and the night sky. One of the few in the castle without a person. She dropped his hand and pulled out her wand.

"Oculorem aperti." The picture swung away to reveal a narrow spiral staircase.

"Oculorem aperti?"

"Open eyes. Come on."

She ran off up the stairs and he followed close behind. She kept glancing back as if she needed to be able to see him. He never noticed, too enthralled with the way her hair bounced as she ran.

At the top of the stairs were a set of glass doors, stained in a mosaic of all colors, lit by the moon beyond them.

"Where are we?"

"Well… I don't really know. But think about it. There are like a million towers on the school, and there's no way there could be classrooms in all of them."

She opened the doors to reveal a large balcony. To the left lay the lake, the right the forest, and the mountains in the distance.

"Wow."

"That's what I said the first time I came up here." She took out the blanket and spread it across the floor.

"How'd you find it?"

"My mother told me about it. She used to come out here all the time when she was in school."

He nodded as she sat down on the blanket. She balled her coat behind her and laid back, staring up at the clear sky. He sat tentatively beside her and looked down at her. He saw the way the slight breeze ruffled her hair, and the glow in her eyes as she traced the patterns in the stars.

She lie there searching the sky for any signs of the impending shower. Then her eyes drifted to him as he looked down at her. Her face flushed as she looked away.

"Umm… The sky's that way…?" she mumbled, waving her hand in the general direction in front of them.

Her skin prickled with goose pimples, and she chanced a glance back over. He was still watching. He had heard her, but chose not to say anything for the fear of sounding like a fool. She sat up suddenly and reached for her bag.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"What do you have?"

"Just warm cider, but if you'd like I can just…"

"Cider's perfect."

She kept her face turned away as she poured two cups and handed him one. She then returned her gaze to the sky, pulling her knees to her chest and sipping slowly. He took one small sip and set the cup aside, instantly forgetting it.

"You like the stars."

It wasn't a question, but she answered.

"Yes. There's such an infinite number. There's no way of knowing what's out there beyond what we see. And you can't even see everything visible at once. It makes you realize that you're so small, just one tiny piece of the enormous universe. It makes you rethink what's important."

"What is important?"

"Family. Friendship. Even smaller things that you wouldn't think to miss until they weren't there, like the sound of the wind through the trees, or the light happy feeling you get when you learn something new, or…"

"Love?"

"…yes… Love is important." She turned toward him, but then immediately away when she met his intense gaze. She laid back again, and he copied her, but then turned to his side to watch her.

"But it also teaches you not to worry about the little things, like saying the wrong thing or spilling a bit of pumpkin juice on yourself at breakfast. You see the big picture and realize that some things that are now, may not be in the… Look! The first one. Make a wish." She lowered her hand from where she was pointing and closed her eyes.

A moment later she opened them and looked at him. He was still turned toward her, but now staring out at the sky.

"What did you wish for?"

He turned back to her and smiled. "I can't tell you, or it won't come true."

She turned to her side to face him fully, laughing quietly. "That's just a myth. It's the belief behind the wish that you make that lets it come true through your actions. Not some cosmic power."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. That's why you're supposed to wish all the time and with all your heart."

"Okay then. Well, I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"I guess that's fair."

"So what'd you wish for?"

She pulled her hand up and began to nibble on a fingernail. "Courage."

"Why would you need courage?" he laughed.

"You'd be surprised…" she mumbled around her finger. "Now tell me yours."

He leaned closer to her, and she could feel his breath hot on her face and sweet smelling from the cider. "Do you really wanna know?"

Her eyes widened slightly at his change of tone, and she swallowed nervously. "Yes."

He gave her a small smile. "I wished for courage, too."

Her brow furrowed. "Why do you need courage?"

"Well I'd hope for the same reason you do, but I can't be sure," he whispered, moving even closed to her.

She shook her head. "You can't possibly need it for the same reason I do." She unconsciously leaned closer to him.

"You sure about that?" Closer.

Closer. "Ye-…"

She was cut off by him pressing his lips to hers. She inhaled sharply through her nose and pressed forward to kiss him back. He reached out and pulled her to him. He pulled them both upright as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

It was minutes before they pulled away, both breathless. They both stared down, fearing what the other thought of them.

Finally, slowly, they both looked up. Eye contact.

"I love you…" they both whispered.


End file.
